Believe me, there are so many things I could throw in my ex’s face. I mean come on, who hasn’t gone through that petty stage of “hating” your ex for all of the “terrible” things they have done? Right? Almost everyone. Instead, I’m going to look at it from another perspective here– in the way that you see them after that “hate” stage. This is where you begin to see the good in the person and the relationship that you once had and appreciate it. I’ll admit though, this even took me months!! But I’m here now, months later, appreciating everything that was brought out in me after our relationship. Although we all hate to admit that we appreciate what our ex has brought out in us, we all do. We all appreciate the relationship later on. We realize (YES, I’m going to say it!!!!) everything DOES happen for a reason and we trust in God that he has placed us where we need to be, when we need to be there, but only for good reason. God places us specifically to build us and show us our life paths.
Evolving into a completely different person after a breakup is actually normal and you see it with almost everyone. Some people lash out and go find someone right away to fill that void and some people drink all the time; or both. 😉 OR if you’re me… you work over 80 hours a week and make literally no time for anyone so you don’t even have to think about it. By the way, staying busy after a break up helps tremendously. I’m not saying push the feelings aside completely, but definitely stay busy enough to keep your mind off of things. It helps, but don’t forget to feel your feelings, they’re important too. Everyone heals differently though, so trust in your feelings and go with the flow.
Anyways, this isn’t going to be an advice column about how to deal with a breakup; I can tackle that topic at a later date. This is going to be my gratitude to the man that broke my heart, so contradictory right? Like why would I actually give thanks to someone who broke my heart? Well, here’s why.
He changed me from an immature, insecure little girl into a matured, beautifully blossomed woman. If this man never broke my heart, I don’t know where I would be right now. All I know is, I would not have found incredible strength, I would still be trying to figure my life out, I wouldn’t know my passions, I wouldn’t know the things I don’t want in my next relationship, I wouldn’t have become such an independent woman. If not for him, I would not have found the things I love again. I would be questioning everything I am and everything that I do. I would not even know what makes me happy anymore. I would have actually been more miserable thinking I was “in love” with a guy who could not give me the world–which I damn well deserved.
He made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world even without make up on; which has been such a huge insecurity of mine for as long as I can remember. But somehow he was able to destroy all of my insecurities thinking I was not pretty enough for any guys. For any girl, this is super important because as girls we are always going to have certain insecurities. If you can make a girl forget her insecurities and feel like those insecurities are cute, unique, or beautiful… you are winning!!
Girls are super confusing!! I’m not the first to notice that and as a girl I feel like at times we are hard to love and easy to give up on because our emotions get the best of us. But sometimes we can’t help but overcompensate to try and fix the situation. We do it because we love you. I know that being with me, especially, is not always a walk through the park. I can be clingy, too distant, emotional, frustrated, standoffish, and too lovey at times. But I know my worth, so when I feel as though I am treated less than that, chances are I will act out in order to gain control of my emotions. Even when I acted out and got emotional, somehow my ex did not make me feel hard to love at all, he gave me so much love, so much care, so much attention and that was what I needed to help gain that control over my emotions. He could have easily become frustrated with my emotions and booked it for the door, but he stuck through it all and continued to love me. So a little advice for you men that can’t handle us crazy girls at times, just breathe and love us. Pull us in and kiss on the forehead until everything is better.
Thank God for his unconditional love and making me feel special. He gave me something no one else could, and that was a real honest to God, good relationship. He might think opposite of that–that we fought a lot, and that it was bad, but I know that if he’s ever in another relationship after me, he will notice how much fighting plays a part in a healthy relationship. Eventually he will realize that we only fought because we truly cared for one another. Fighting is healthy for a relationship, it’s not always simple. Obviously too much fighting is toxic and sometimes enough is enough. But anyways, I know for a fact that if we had not grown together like we did, I would not be as strong as I am now. I have become this amazing, hard-working, well-rounded woman, and he’s partly to blame–in a good way though. He gave me what I needed and deserved at the time, and it was everything I ever prayed to God for. I’m so happy God gave me him when he did, because it was for good reason. Everyone comes into your life for a particular reason, and his reason was to help me grow and show me what kind of relationship I want and deserve. Even though we may not have been made for each other, we were made to help each other grow. I’m so thankful for that. Every relationship may not end how you expect, but you take a lot from it; mostly experience and strength for the next. God always has a plan to help us grow, so trust in that plan and push through the tough times.
Because of him, I will know how to love again. Because of him, I will be okay because of the strength I’ve endured. Because of him, I know now that giving your entire heart to someone entirely new will be okay. I will be okay.
So to the guy that broke my heart, I thank you.